Author: Amelia Victrix

Hey Diary, it’s me again. If I’m writing here then I guess it means I bottomed out, I do this sometimes, I forget where I am but….honestly right now I’m feeling I lost everyone, none of these connections feel rich or healthy and my paranoia is pulling me to places I don’t like to return…

Hey diary, me again, I know it’s been a while, longer for me, but hey what’s perception right? What’s it all matter when I was in my own head anyways. Yknow every low seems to be redifined in it’s own way, a personal hell, a sucker punch that lingers longer than I’d wish, god, such…

Dear Diary, Things have been much more….chaotic lately. Old friends contacted, ex-therapists called, nights where I scream ideations out loud, I think at one point I was disengaging my depression groove, now all I want is a pill that will kill who I am and stop me from caring. I hate my memories, which is…

She’s got this stimpiness, it’s in her bones, and when she looks at it she can’t see her. She never sees her yknow? Never, only glimpses true but they a fragments always always colored by the stimpiness. The eyes just can’t be kind they can’t remove themselves from the stimpiness. The words are terrible, more…

Dear Diary I feel so overwhelmed right now. It feels as though every single thing is hitting me at once. I can’t talk about it I can barely draw it I’m extremely agitated and hard to the world. Diary why do people suck so much? Why do they always do the same things? Why do…

The times that I’m low aren’t a product of me realizing I’ve made a mistake. So often I see suicide being commented on by people who aren’t my kind saying my kind “wakes up”, that they realize they made a mistake and can’t undo it, that their reality is fixed and they’re a freak being…

I’m sleepless in bed. What I’m thinking about is everything, yet also nothing. The flip flooping people do, the flip flopping I do. I’m thinking of Paura Palmer and the bitter exes of lifetime engagements. I wonder if they think about me? I wonder if it’s healthy, me always thinking of others. “Am I like…

Hi dear diary, it’s been a while so I’m here because the things on my mind are special and I want them to come out once again. I had another breakdown, a real bad one and now that I’m out of it I can only feel the desire to express. I sobbed painfully, heartbroken because…

Dear DiaryI’m sorry I didn’t write last nightDear DiaryI don’t know where to begin.Maybe at the end?I’m sitting here writing this with a song on loop.It’s not Nier but it’s something that calls to me,it calls to me because it’s an emotion I can relate to, one I miss but feel I’ve never known. Such…